Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you just say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry (Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Mr. Garrison: I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Quote Rating: 9.4 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my a$$. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch a$$ back in the kitchen and make me some pie!
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid a$$*** didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Cartman: Respect My Authority!
Quote Rating: 9.3 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid a$$*** didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.