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Full Version: Dumbass article - is your son a computer hacker
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
WTF. If funny how wrong all this info is.
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
WTF. If funny how wrong all this info is.
It kinda ranks up there with "you may be a redneck if..." 
The author is a computer illiterate... I didn't know that Bonzi Buddy and Flash are hacking softwares until now. Ar, hackers all need most high end graphics cards to have a clearer display of codings.
HAHA.
P. S. This article is quite old (2001). I wonder what does the author think now.
HAHA.
P. S. This article is quite old (2001). I wonder what does the author think now.
Please tell me that was written as a joke. The only possible connection to hacking presented was the mention of reading "Hacking Manuals," but none of those examples would count as a hacking manual.
Everything is so blantantly wrong in this article, it must be a joke. Besides that, hackers are very important and highly respected people. The negative connotation of the word was a result of a media submersed society.
Oh yeah, and what do kandi kids have to do with hacking? If your son is dressing like that, I'd say drugs are an issue, not hacking!
Everything is so blantantly wrong in this article, it must be a joke. Besides that, hackers are very important and highly respected people. The negative connotation of the word was a result of a media submersed society.
Oh yeah, and what do kandi kids have to do with hacking? If your son is dressing like that, I'd say drugs are an issue, not hacking!
Briiliantly written article. (Y) Funny as hell, highly recommended.
QUOTE
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
Erm... huh? sure! that's just nonsense, how can a processor do protection??
QUOTE
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
Hmm... darnit, I didn't know that the russian took over the finnish, neither did I know Lunix existed!
Wow! mp3 is a program!
This article is fun!
And I'm a danger to all mankind with my AMD dual (yes, I have 2!) CPU and Gentoo Linux as OS.... coooool
Sphere teh 1337 h4x0r! 0h n03s!
:rofl:
:rofl:
i read this so long ago...
it actually makes me depressed...
i'm going to bed
it actually makes me depressed...
i'm going to bed
Seems that most of us here fit the decriptions (at least one) in the article as being a hacker. Haha!
Now that's a hacker.
I knew there were computer illiterate people in this world, but never anyone that computer illiterate. That was a very funny read. I think it was a joke because it was under the Internet Idiocy section on that site. 
its got to be a joke and one hell of a good joke
QUOTE(John_Doe666 @ Jun 4 2006, 07:30 PM) [snapback]98634[/snapback]
I knew there were computer illiterate people in this world, but never anyone that computer illiterate. That was a very funny read. I think it was a joke because it was under the Internet Idiocy section on that site.
It is a joke. It's been passed around on numerous forums for at least a couple years.
QUOTE(thexfile @ Jun 4 2006, 07:39 AM) [snapback]98609[/snapback]
Now that's a hacker.
lol nice this article is pathetic! obviously written by someone who just knows how to type
1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
I asked my dad to change ISPs, that makes me a hacker I want a faster download speed.
2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
No, but I have Flash, Wow thats so cool, all you have to do to become a hacker is use flash for games.
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
I got a new gfx card twice, heres a tip, If your going to become a hacker, your gonna need one
4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
I did once, got bored and gave up.
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
I spend hours on it. There's this cool thing called msn and... and... yeah
6. Does your son use Quake?
Never seen it in my life, but I swear it's a game.
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
Argh, what, go away, stupid humans, theres nothing wrong with me, your the one with problems
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
OGM ist Lunix, hte celoost thnig eevr
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
Spiky hair, mmmmm, Ergh no way I'm too much of a hacker to do something like that.
10. Is your son struggling academically?
No... the teachers are
I asked my dad to change ISPs, that makes me a hacker I want a faster download speed.
2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
No, but I have Flash, Wow thats so cool, all you have to do to become a hacker is use flash for games.
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
I got a new gfx card twice, heres a tip, If your going to become a hacker, your gonna need one
4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
I did once, got bored and gave up.
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
I spend hours on it. There's this cool thing called msn and... and... yeah
6. Does your son use Quake?
Never seen it in my life, but I swear it's a game.
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
Argh, what, go away, stupid humans, theres nothing wrong with me, your the one with problems
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
OGM ist Lunix, hte celoost thnig eevr
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
Spiky hair, mmmmm, Ergh no way I'm too much of a hacker to do something like that.
10. Is your son struggling academically?
No... the teachers are
QUOTE(Outcast @ Jun 4 2006, 06:09 AM) [snapback]98604[/snapback]
Seems that most of us here fit the decriptions (at least one) in the article as being a hacker. Haha!
Let's make this topic a poll on how many we are a hacker!
yes.
Me me!!! I'm one!
I am truly teh 1337 h4x0r I r00ted a b0x and found out we had a pedo security guard at school!
LOL, according to the article, there should be no doubt in my parents' minds that I am a hacker. As far as true hacking ability, reading HTML code and understanding directories is about all the skill I have in that department.
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